Redefining success on your terms
Published by Sanita Pukite - on October 6, 2025
Inspired by the legacy of Jane Goodall
A few days ago, the world said goodbye to Jane Goodall.
At 91, her life’s arc reads like a blueprint for purpose: decades spent reshaping how humanity understands nature, championing a cause larger than herself, and leaving a legacy that will ripple for generations. May she rest in peace.
As I read the tributes, one thought kept circling in my mind: What a life — and what an impact.
And then another, quieter question followed: What about mine?
I’m 46. If I’m lucky, I could have another 45 years ahead. What impact do I want those decades to hold? What beliefs would I be willing to fight for — to stand on stages, write books, and dedicate my work to changing?
It’s a confronting question. Because the truth is, for most of us, we’re so busy chasing success that we rarely stop to ask what it’s all for.
Are you chasing success or someone else’s story?
Many leaders — especially in midlife or beyond — eventually find themselves in this quiet reckoning.
Is this all there is?
Have I achieved what I truly wanted?
Or was I chasing something that was never mine to begin with?
Sometimes that question is triggered by an event — a loss, a health crisis, a career upheaval. Other times it creeps in as a slow burn of restlessness, sleepless nights, questions about legacy and meaning that won’t go away no matter how fast we move.
Beneath them lies a deeper, more urgent inquiry:
What is my definition of success — and is it still true?
Or more unsettling still: What if I built my life on the wrong blueprint?
The hidden scripts that shape our lives
In my coaching work, I often ask leaders: “What does success mean to you?”
The answers are familiar: family, security, achievement. But dig deeper — into what drives their decisions, what they’re willing to sacrifice, what they fear losing — and a different story often emerges.
Our pursuit of success is rarely random. It’s shaped by invisible scripts written long before we were conscious of them:
What we were told about worth and achievement growing up.
What our culture rewards — often money, status, visibility.
What our parents praised or lacked.
What peers and society modeled as “making it.”
Unless we pause to examine these scripts, they run us. We become actors in someone else’s play — and often pay for it with authenticity, joy, and alignment. We may achieve a great deal… and still feel strangely hollow.
Happiness vs. Success
We are taught to believe that happiness follows success. Happiness expert Prof. Arthur Brooks in his newest book: The Meaning of Your Life. Finding Purpose in an Age of Emptiness" argues that happiness comes first and only then... success follows.
Instead of trying first to get success and hoping it leads to happiness, start by working on your happiness, which will enhance your success.
Scholars in 2005 surveyed hundreds of studies, including experiments to establish causality and concluded that happiness leads to success in many realms of life, including marriage, friendship, health, income, and work performance.
He also concludes that the most meaningful jobs and those that bring the most happiness are service oriented, which brings me to the next point.
Why the pause is powerful
Pause is not weakness, it’s wisdom.
It’s the first step in reclaiming authorship over your life and leadership story.
In a recent INSEAD Alumni webinar on building your Personal Board of Directors, we explored how this process begins not with networking, but with purpose. Because without a clear “why,” the best advice still sends you in the wrong direction. If you like to learn more about this concept, read it here.
The same is true for success. Until you stop to ask what still feels true, you risk continuing down a path that no longer fits. But once you do pause — to re-clarify, re-calibrate, and re-commit — everything changes.
When we consciously redefine success, the rewards run deeper than any title or KPI:
Meaning and fulfillment that outlast external validation.
Less inner conflict and more alignment.
Greater resonance between who you are and how you lead.
And paradoxically, more success — because now it’s anchored in your values and what is true for you.
Your turn: the 91-year reflection
So here’s a question worth sitting with:
If you lived to 91, like Jane Goodall, what impact would you want your life to have made — on people, on leadership, on the world?
Forget what you “should” want. Forget the scripts.
What would make you proud to have devoted decades of your life to building, shifting, or healing?
The answers might not come all at once. But asking the question — and being brave enough to sit in the space it opens — might just be the most important leadership work you ever do.
Final Thoughts
This week, carve out 30 minutes for a “board meeting” with yourself. Ask:
What do I believe is worth fighting for in my lifetime?
What stories about success am I ready to release?
What does my definition of a life well lived look like — now, at (your age) and at 91.
Clarity is always the starting point. Without it, we’re just moving, not leading. Once we know what truly matters, conviction becomes the fuel: the unshakable belief in a purpose, a calling, a cause worth fighting for. And only then does the rest follow — the courage to act, the connections to build, and the capacity to sustain the journey.
I would love to know - what difference and impact are you here to make?
Dont hesitate to drop me a line.
Warmly,
Sanita
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