From Achievement to Fulfillment
Newsletter in Brief:
Midlife is a mirror - asking if fulfillment lies ahead or behind.
Arthur Brooks’ Second Curve shows us how to trade striving for wisdom.
True growth comes from subtracting, not adding - shifting fields, not clinging.
The skill to master: Adaptive Capacity: thriving in pressure and uncertainty.
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For many, midlife is when the mirror appears. Some look back on decades of achievements, boxes ticked, milestones reached, and wonder if the next decade can ever feel as fulfilling.
Others reflect on a different truth: despite all the striving, they never really arrived. The lingering question becomes: Will I ever?
It’s a deeply human moment, the tension between satisfaction and longing, between accomplishment and meaning.
Arthur Brooks and Second Curve
Lately, I’ve been fascinated by Arthur Brooks’ work on happiness ( book From Strength to Strength) in the second half of life. He describes two curves of intelligence and fulfillment:
Fluid Intelligence – Peaks in our 30s and 40s. Creativity, problem-solving, innovation. It’s the fuel of strivers and builders.
Crystallized Intelligence – Emerges in our 50s and beyond. Wisdom, accumulated knowledge, judgment, teaching, mentoring.
The challenge? Many strivers cling to the first curve long past its peak. That’s the seed of the Striver’s Curse — the paradox that the most successful often become the least happy when their careers fade.
Darwin is a haunting example: revolutionary in his 20s, but in his 50s and 60s, unable to embrace the next curve, he died feeling like a fraud.
So how do we avoid this curse?
By learning to jump curves. By becoming teachers, mentors, coaches, investors, guides. By creating meaning not just from doing, but from shepherding.
Source: Prof. Arthur Brooks lecture
Subtracting instead of adding
There’s another paradox Brooks surfaces:
The most successful spend the first half of life filling their canvas. The second half is about chipping marble away to reveal the sculpture beneath.
More doesn’t make us happier. In fact, wanting less increases satisfaction.
This is where practices like the reverse bucket list help. Instead of adding more wants, we write them down and cross them out.
It’s not about deprivation. It’s about liberation.
My own frame: playing fields of growth
This resonates with my own metaphor: life as a series of playing fields.
We can:
Play the Game – optimize within today’s rules.
Change the Game – redefine the rules and expectations.
Change the Playing Field – create entirely new arenas of value.
Elevate the Game – raise the standards so everyone rises with you.
In midlife, many keep playing the same game, hoping to extract the same joy. But the real invitation is to switch fields. To adapt. To build adaptive capacity, which in my view is the ultimate skill of the future.
The ability to hold pressure.
Operate in uncertainty.
Navigate uncharted territory.
This concept of which game we play can be as well applied for our personal lives as for our business scenarios. I recently facilitated a leadership offsite session where the team looked at these scenarios for their expanding business and it was fascinating how many ways we can find to change the game or playing field when we put diverse, intelligent minds together around the same table.
The Deeper Roots
Strivers are rugged individualists, but trees with shallow roots don't stand the storm.
The strongest trees share one root system.
Connection. Community. Love.
Happiness, Brooks reminds us, comes down to three questions:
Do you enjoy your life?
Are you satisfied with your accomplishments?
Do you find meaning in it?
The shift comes when we stop asking how do I stand out? and start asking who am I rooted with?
Because our truest self isn’t found in isolation. It is reflected in the love we give and receive, in the people who walk the journey with us.
Reflection Corner
Where in your life are you clinging to the first curve?
What would it look like to “subtract” instead of add?
Which playing field are you on and do you need to switch?
Who are your roots — the people you grow stronger with?
Final Thoughts
The question is not how do I avoid decline?
The question is how do I dance on the second curve?
To shift from striving to shepherding.
From adding to subtracting.
From rugged independence to shared roots.
Because the Striver’s Curse is not inevitable.
But it does require courage: the courage to let go of the old game so you can play a truer one.
Be Bold. Be Adaptive. Go Beyond.
Curious to learn more?
1. For more articles, tips, and insights, connect with me on LinkedIn and ring the bell on my LinkedIn profile to be notified every time I share my top tips.
2. Reach out to me at hello@sanitapukite.com to explore the possibility to bring High-Impact Leadership Lab series into your organisation.
3. Looking to scale up your influence to move from performance to presence. Book a discovery call.
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BEYOND is a state of continuous growth and transformation. It’s about stepping out of the ordinary, redefining what’s possible, and leading boldly. Here, we explore leadership fundamentals - self-awareness, presence, mindset, behaviors, strategic decision-making and influence. BEYOND is for those who refuse to lead within expectations and instead choose to go further, think bigger, and make a lasting impact.